Top Right Parenting

WHAT IS TOP RIGHT PARENTING?

Parents begin by owning nearly every part of a child’s life. Eventually, that child must become the owner. In between are hundreds of decisions about when to step in, when to step back, and what kind of help will build capability rather than replace it. Top Right Parenting offers practical, behaviorally informed tools for making those decisions so that children can handle meaningful challenges even when we are no longer in the room.

Developmental psychologists describe authoritative parenting as the combination of high warmth and high expectations; the top-right quadrant of a 2×2 model. Decades of research suggest that this approach improves our children’s chances of building the kind of life we hope they will have. But “be warm and hold them to high standards” does not tell us what to do on an ordinary Thursday night, when our child is upset, the deadline is tomorrow, and we could solve the problem in ten minutes. How should we respond when they want to quit a sport they have spent eight years loving? Or when an occasional late assignment starts to look more like a pattern?

Children need one place where their fundamental value is not under review. They also need to be prepared for a world that will not love them unconditionally, but instead that will judge them based on how they act and what they produce. Top Right Parenting is about how those two truths can coexist. It helps parents provide the right support, in the right way, at the right time, so that children develop the competence to meet the world’s demands, the inner compass to decide what matters to them, and the security of knowing that their place with us is not something they have to earn.

when much is possible...

Resources create extraordinary opportunities for children. They also give parents the power to remove obstacles quickly. To find the tutor, make the call, fix the oversight, or create another chance. That can make it harder, not easier, to know when helping is actually helpful.

Most parents who step in are not trying to control their children or to "helicopter" all their problems away. They are trying to prevent needless pain, leverage an opportunity, or keep one bad season from becoming something larger. Often the intervention works: the immediate problem goes away. The harder question is what the child learned, what the parent now owns, and what will happen the next time things get hard. This is where we need a careful balance.

Research on adolescents in some affluent, high-achieving communities has found elevated emotional distress, particularly when kids perceive that achievement is emphasized more than well-being, character, and connection. The answer is not to lower our expectations. It is to see the tradeoffs more clearly - to consider not only what our help accomplishes today, but what it may build or cost for our child over time.

Dr. Laurel C. NewmaN

ABOUT LAUREL

For more than 25 years, I have been fascinated by a deceptively simple question: What leads people to genuinely want to do the things that help them grow?

As a psychology professor, I thought about how to help students want to learn, rather than simply work for a grade. In my corporate work, I have studied how context, intrinsic and extrinsic motivators, and individual differences affect whether people take ownership, persist, and do their best work. And as a parent, I have seen how many of the same principles shape whether children learn to act with integrity, care for other people, work through difficulty, and take increasing ownership of their lives with pride rather than resistance.

We cannot manufacture motivation or force values on our children. But we have tremendous influence over the conditions in which both develop, through what we notice, expect, reward, solve, and leave for them to own. I created Top Right Parenting to help parents use that influence intentionally,.

My work is grounded in a Ph.D. in social and personality psychology from Washington University in St. Louis, 12 years as a psychology professor and department chair, and almost 10 years applying behavioral science to complex problems at enterprise scale. In addition to currently serving as a senior behavioral scientist at Edward Jones, I've previously written several books, chapters and articles, advised Fortune 100 organizations, and co-founded a motivation fintech company that was acquired in 2025.

ways to work together

1. Private Parenting Strategy or Support

Sometimes parents do not need more general advice. They need help thinking clearly about their own child, in their own environment, and a decision or pattern that keeps coming up.

In a private consultation, we identify what may be driving the situation, consider how the context, including your current approach, may be shaping it, and develop a realistic plan for moving forward. Topics might include communication, responsibility, school or activities, emotional regulation, money, behavior design, emerging adulthood, or disagreement between parents about how best to intervene.

2. Speaking and Single Day Workshops

Research-grounded, engaging presentations give parents a new way to understand familiar struggles, and practical ideas they can use immediately.

Talks can be adapted for schools, parent associations, conferences, professional or social organizations, and private groups. Sample topics include:

The Help Paradox: Why More Support Does Not Always Build More Capability
The Crossover: Helping Children Take Ownership of Their Lives
The 4 Ss: Choosing the Right Kind of Help When Your Child Faces a Challenge
Building Motivation from Within
How Unconditional Love and High Expectations Can Coexist
When So Much Is Possible: Opportunity, Pressure, and Parenting in High-Resource Families

Available as keynote presentations, shorter talks, or interactive workshops.

3. Top Right Parenting Immersive Weekends

Occasional private small-group weekends will combine guided Top Right Parenting sessions with good meals, meaningful conversation, relaxation, and enough unstructured time to think.

These gatherings are for parents who want to step outside the logistics of daily family life, reflect on the kind of adult they are helping their child become, and return home with greater clarity about what to support, what to change, and what may be ready to hand over.

DISCLAIMER

Top Right Parenting does not offer psychotherapy, diagnosis or treatment of disorders / conditions, nor financial planning, wealth management, or advice on transitioning wealth to children.

Top Right Parenting provides parenting advice rooted in developmental and behavioral psychology research with the sole purpose of raising successful, well-adjusted children. The information offered is not a substitute for professional advice such as a medical doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, or financial planner.

The information provided by Top Right Parenting does not constitute legal or professional advice. Any decisions you make and the consequences thereof are your own. Top Right Parenting is not responsible or liable for any actions that you take or for what you perceive to be the consequences of those actions.